Broken Sky
by jaybear1701
Summary: An alternate version of how Naomi and Emily find each other again in series four, with help along the way from unexpected allies. Post-S4Ep4.
1. Chapter 1

_I fucking ruined everything. _

Naomi Campbell repeated the phrase over and over again as her blue eyes, rimmed with red, stared blankly out at the slowly darkening Bristol cityscape. Naomi sat atop a grassy knoll with her legs stretched out in front and her back pressed up against the large tree across the street from her home. She flicked ash from the burning cigarette in her right hand before bringing it to her lips and inhaling deeply, willing the nicotine to dull the ever present ache in her chest. The sun had already set, taking with it its warm, orange glow, and dusk's deepening blue sky crept across the horizon. Some small bits of light began to shine from the homes in the distance. At any other time, Naomi might have described the view as pretty. But she took no notice of it now. All she could see in her mind's eye was the horrible scene that had played out earlier in the day at the disastrous barbecue.

Breathing out the smoke, Naomi closed her eyes and rested the back of her head against the tree's trunk, reveling in how the hard, rough bark dug into her scalp. A sudden breeze tussled her still damp hair. The air currents swayed the wavy blonde tendrils that had managed to escape from her hastily tied ponytail and now framed the sides of her face. The wind felt cool on her cheeks, the skin of which was beginning to feel taut and dry from the tears that had long since disappeared.

Even now, hours afterward, Naomi could still feel the pain that seized her entire being during the event. She had already felt nauseated for weeks from the constant guilt about what happened to Sophia and to Cook. The girl had died, ostensibly, because of Naomi, and the other, one of her best mates, took the fall in her stead. If she had thought shit couldn't get any worse after all of that, she was horribly mistaken. It could. It did. Naomi had hit rock bottom, or so she assumed, until she willingly picked up a shovel and gleefully started digging an even deeper hole by allowing her girlfriend's estranged mother and family to stay in their home. Naomi had thought she was doing the right thing, but all it did was set the woman she loved off like a Christmas cracker.

Try as she might, Naomi couldn't stop the memory of her beautiful, red-haired Emily pressing her body against another woman and capturing her lips again and again. It was like an old video reel stuck in a perpetual loop. _My Emily. _Naomi winced. _She's not mine anymore. She hasn't been ever since I..._

At the time, it felt like a spike, searing and cold, pierced through her heart and lungs, shredded them, and tore them from her body. She hadn't been able to breath, hadn't been able to move as she watched Emily, as if in slow motion, pull away from the nameless whore only to bum rush Naomi into the cold water of an inflatable pool, cackling with drug-induced, humorless laughter. And then the argument between Emily and her family erupted, and Emily's mother, Jenna, had shouted an angry, "_I knew you'd screw her up_!" in Naomi's direction.

_And I did._ Naomi took another drag, trying and failing to stop another wave of despair from welling up inside of her as the memories continued to cycle through her hated that Jenna had been right about her. It made her shame burn that much more intensely.

Naomi eyes snapped open as she felt, rather than heard, footsteps approaching. It was a skill she had picked up spending years in a house crowded with random strangers taken in by her do-gooder mother. If she ever wanted any peace, she had to develop a sort of sixth sense whenever others were nearby. She stiffened as the steps got closer and closer. _Someone was bound to come after me eventually_.

"So this is where you've been hiding," came the lisped voice of Emily's twin sister, Katie.

The blonde rolled her eyes. _Of course it'd be fucking Katie. _Naomi tried to ignore the disappointment sinking in her stomach. She had secretly wished it would be Emily coming to find her. The universe had it out for her, Naomi was sure of it. It couldn't have been someone who might be even a tad bit sympathetic to her. Effy. Freddie. Thomas. Even J.J. for chrissake. No, it just had to be the raging bitch who spent the better part of middle school and nearly all of their first year of college tormenting Naomi with homophobic digs, and then did everything in her power to keep Naomi and Emily apart.

"Come to have a go at me, Katie?" Naomi asked, crossing her arms, not bothering to look at her nemesis. The blonde meant to put a challenge in her voice, shields always at the ready for the wrath of Katie Fitch. But she just couldn't muster the strength, not after everything that happened. Whatever form of bitchiness Katie was getting ready to dish out, she would gladly accept any and all punishment. _ I deserve it. _

"Not today, lezzer," Katie said as she plopped down next to Naomi and hugged her knees to her chest. "Though you'd deserve it, stupid cow."

Normally, a quick "fuck off" would have been Naomi's reply without a second thought. But the absence of malice in Katie's voice took Naomi by surprise. It stunned the normally sharp-tongued Campbell into a rare moment of silence.

The blonde glanced over at Katie, and nearly did a double take at the sight that greeted her. Gone was the perfectly coiffed, heavily made up, elaborately dressed Katie Fitch. Instead, her face was scrubbed free of makeup, her long reddish-brown hair pinned up almost carelessly. No jewelry. No black lingerie masquerading as a dress. She wore gray sweatpants and two tank tops, a pink one layered on top of red. She looked… vulnerable. Innocent, almost. The exact opposite of what Naomi had come to expect from the elder Fitch twin.

Katie reached behind her and pulled a bottle of vodka from the waistband of her sweats. She offered it to Naomi, but the blonde looked at the bottle warily, as if Katie had presented her with piss and vinegar... or even worse, that frightening potato moonshine J.J. had once brought to a party. Naomi made no move to take it from the intruder.

"Oh for fuck's sake, be that way." Katie unscrewed the top quickly, taking a swig from the bottle. She winced slightly as she swallowed the liquor. She said nothing else as she too gazed out at the outlines of the distant rooftops.

And continued to say nothing.

Every so often, Naomi could feel Katie's eyes on her. It made her increasingly uncomfortable. It was weird for Katie not to open that incessant flap of hers. And even weirder for her not to be attacking Naomi like a crazed Tazmanian devil now that she knew Naomi had hurt Emily - just like the twin had done last year at the Love Ball.

The silence stretched on and on and on, until Naomi couldn't take it anymore. "What do you want, Katie?"

The brunette's eyes flicked toward her as she took another drink and shrugged. She began spinning the cap on the bottle, tightening and loosening it with absent-minded flicks of her thumb.

"Just wanted to see how you're doing," Katie said softly, sounding almost sheepish in expressing concern for Naomi, a most foreign emotion surely. "Ungrateful bitch." She abruptly added, almost as an afterthought.

A sad, defeated chuckle escaped Naomi. "You're really having a laugh today, aren't you?" She shook her head. _Katie Fitch. Concerned about me. This day just gets better and better. _

"Yeah, well," Katie paused, taking another drink. "Figured I'd make sure you were all right before I popped you one, good and proper. Even I couldn't kick someone when they're down."

Naomi merely raised an eyebrow in disbelief at Katie, not even bothering to keep an unbelieving scoff at bay.

"Okay, maybe I _would_," Katie conceded, with a small smile. "Doesn't mean I'd do it... _all_ the time at least."

It had been nothing more than a subtle upturn of Katie's lips, the most miniscule of movements, and yet that simple action caused Naomi's breath to catch. Because in that tiniest motion, Katie looked just like _her... _just like Emily. Naomi had years of studying the twins, secretly of course. And she had become adept at distinguishing the two. At first glance, they looked identical. But upon closer inspection, their subtle differences became more pronounced - the curve of their jaws, for instance, the fullness of their cheeks, the pitch of their husky voices. But when they smiled, the way the corners of their eyes crinkled in amusement, they channeled each other in those moments, however brief. Naomi felt her chest tighten at the sight, and she quickly turned her head away from the all too familiar dark brown eyes, bringing the fag to her lips once again and sucking the smoke into her lungs to lessen the pain.

"Why are you being so nice?" Naomi asked. _When, for once, you have every right to be horrible. I cheated on your sister, fucking broke her heart. A girl is dead and Cook's in jail... all because of me. _"You should be ripping my fucking head off." Naomi felt proud that she managed to keep her voice from trembling.

"Yeah," Katie nodded in agreement, "I should."

"What's stopping you?" Naomi turned toward Katie full on, silently willing the brunette to hit her, wanting to feel something other than the constant internal gnawing. "Bloody get on with it."

Katie narrowed her eyes, as if seriously considering it, but did nothing as she let out a deep sigh. "Emily." Naomi's heart stopped at the simple sound of _her_ name. "She loves you."

"Emily hates me," Naomi whispered. _As she should._

Katie leaned toward the blonde, and to Naomi's surprise, plucked the fag from her hand and took a drag. "Yeah, she does." Katie nodded, blowing out a puff of white smoke.

The added confirmation from Katie sent a sharp pain through Naomi.

"Can't really blame her, though, can you? But," Katie paused to suck on the cigarette once again, "she's a stupid fucking cow and loves you all the same." She looked Naomi right in the eye. "So why'd you fuck that girl Sophia?"

_Why indeed? _ How could Naomi explain it to Katie when she couldn't even explain it to Emily, let alone herself? Somehow, _I was scared_, didn't seem adequate enough, not that it ever did. All she knew was that she had known it was a mistake before it happened, as it happened, and afterward. And yet she hadn't stopped, all because... because...

"Fuck it." Katie shook her head. "I don't think I even wanna know." She got to her feet quickly then, stretching in the process. She walked in front of Naomi and looked down. "Come on then, you two-timing lezzer." She turned and proceeded down the hill. "That's not a request," she threw over her shoulder.

Naomi stared after the twin, indignant from the order, but still couldn't stop herself from standing and following Katie, despite her better judgment. Her long legs allowed her to catch up with the much shorter girl in just a few strides.

"Finding some place private to kill me then?" Naomi pulled the sleeves of her gray hoodie over her hands and hugged her body as they walked. She hadn't forgotten what Katie had once told her at Keith's pub. Summer was ending, and their group of friends had gathered for Keith's quiz night. After giving Naomi and Emily her "blessing," Katie had nudged the blonde's shoulder and added, good-naturedly but with a hint of a threat, _"If you hurt Emily, you're fucking dead."_

Katie smirked at the blonde, clearly remembering their past conversation. "If I wanted you dead, Naomi, it would have happened long before now." She flicked the butt of the spent cigarette into the grass. "Besides... my family wouldn't have any place to go without you, would they? I'm not living in a fucking camper."

Naomi couldn't help but smile slightly, glad that her act of charity in allowing the now homeless Fitches to live with her until they got back on their feet was staving off Katie's fury. The blonde knew if her mum had been home now instead of traveling with Kieran, she would have been proud of her.

"Also, I wouldn't let you off the hook that easy," Katie said as they approached an empty playground. It was much darker now, but the emerging moon and nearby streetlamps provided just enough illumination to make out the equipment - a slide, carousel, jungle gym, swing sets, seesaw.

Katie made her way over to the carousel and gave it a push. The old metal squeaked and groaned as it spun in place. Naomi watched as Katie grabbed the handlebars, and gave another push, this time running with it and then hopping on. She heard Katie laugh, and despite all the shit she'd been through that day, Naomi smiled.

"It's been an age since I've been on one of these," Katie said, excited. "When we were little, Emsy and I would trap James on them and spin the little worm round 'til he puked."

Naomi's smile faltered, and not because of the delight Katie seemed to take in reminiscing about torturing her little brother.

"Sorry," Katie said. Inertia slowed the carousel and brought it to a stop.

"Don't be." Naomi gripped the cold handlebars, coarse beneath her hands from chipping paint and rust. "We _can_ talk about her." She pushed the carousel and ran several revolutions before lifting herself onto the spinning metal platform to join Katie. The brunette sat in the middle of the carousel and Naomi mirrored her, neither of them speaking.

When the equipment began to slow, they took turns keeping the momentum going, until finally they found themselves lying on their backs on opposite ends of the now motionless carousel, too dizzy to continue. With their feet dangling off the side of the platform and their heads pointed to the middle, their bodies formed a near straight line. They stared up at the starless sky and shared a spliff, passing it between themselves every so often.

It was strange. Perhaps it was only the drugs, but Naomi almost started to feel better, and with the company of Katie Fitch no less. That is, until Katie spoke up again.

"You love her, don't you?" The brunette's husky voice was soft, low, almost hesitant. With her lisp less pronounced, she sounded just like Emily.

Naomi bit her bottom lip. "I don't deserve to love her."

"Ain't that the truth, but that's not what I asked." Katie lifted herself up onto her left elbow and leaned on her side to look over at Naomi. "Do you love my sister?"

Naomi lifted herself up as well, turning her body so she could look straight into Katie's deep brown, Emily-esque eyes. They bored into her, searching for truth, willing her to try and lie to her. Perhaps it was a skill unique to all three Fitch women, but Naomi always felt exposed under the intensity of their dark gazes.

"I couldn't stop loving Emily if my life depended on it."

"Then," Katie sat up completely and faced Naomi, crossing her legs underneath her, "what the fuck are you doing?" Although her voice remained calm, there was an edge in the twin's voice that hadn't been there earlier. "Why aren't you fucking telling her that?"

"Don't you think I've tried?" Naomi asked incredulously , shaking her head. "She doesn't want to hear it."

"Or you're not trying hard enough." Katie's dark eyes flashed with irritation. "Or maybe you're just a cunting coward who's too pussy to sort things."

"Oh go fuck yourself, Katie." Naomi pulled herself up and began to walk away. She knew their little cease fire wouldn't last forever, but Katie's seemingly abrupt about face surprised her. Naomi hadn't taken more than a few steps away from the carousel before she felt Katie grab her by the shoulder and spin her around.

"No, you don't get to walk away." The shorter woman poked a finger, hard, at the blonde's chest, and Naomi barely resisted the urge to slap Katie's hand away. "You fucked up. Big time. But so what? We all do." Katie stood toe to toe with Naomi now, brown eyes glaring up into blue. "What I wanna know is - what're you gonna do about it?"

"What _can_ I do?" Naomi spat out, knowing she had no right to take her anger out on Katie. But doing it nonetheless. "She barely even looks at me." She pointed in the general direction of her house. "In fact, today was the first time she's said more than five sentences to me in practically a month!"

"Then fucking get her attention! Jesus, she spent months chasing after your sorry arse. If you really love her, the least you can do is fight for her."

Naomi tore her gaze away from Katie's unflinching one. "I... I can't."

"Why the fuck not?"

"I don't think she wants me to," Naomi whispered, heat stinging her eyes. _Shit. Not in front of Katie._ She quickly wiped her eyes with the ends of her sleeves, silently cursing herself for showing weakness in front of Katie.

The twin sighed. "The hell are you on about?" Perhaps it was the sight of Naomi's tears. Perhaps Katie really wasn't in the mood to fight. _Yeah right. _Whatever it was, the ire was already starting to seep out of her voice. "Emily wants you to fight for her. Otherwise, why else would she have pulled all that shit today? Kissing that whore, trying to get a rise out of you."

"Why do you even care, Katie?" Naomi shook her head. She turned and began walking again. "You never even wanted us together in the first place."

"Okay, that's true." Katie walked in double time to keep up with the blonde. "And I'd be lying if I said a part of me wouldn't be thrilled to get rid of you once and for all." She ignored Naomi's glare and continued, "But Em... she's just so... so lost." Katie's voice cracked helplessly on the last word and she stopped moving, allowing Naomi to continue on ahead. "You're her fucking... lobster or whatever, aren't you? Help me find her."

That stopped Naomi in her tracks, a maelstrom of emotions whirling within her. Emily had always had a soft spot for the American sitcom, _Friends. _ And Naomi could remember every single detail of the day the red-haired twin had scrawled, _"You are my lobster," _in white chalk on the blackboard in the hallway leading to her bedroom. Emily had been stark naked, her entire body deliciously flushed from their lovemaking. As she finished writing, Naomi had pressed herself into Emily, holding her from behind as her lips trailed down the side of her lover's neck. With her left arm wrapped around Emily's waist, Naomi had used her right hand to take the small piece of chalk from Emily and scribble her own response to the love of her life, _"I love you more than cheese." _Naomi had felt Emily vibrate with laughter before she turned in her arms and captured her lips.

Naomi closed her eyes from the memory. Instead of fighting it, she let the overwhelming feeling of loss flow through her. The force of it made her feel weak in the knees and she wobbled slightly until she felt a steadying hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, Naomi." Katie's voice was barely above a whisper. "You're not the only who's hurt Emily. Believe me, some of us have spent a lifetime doing it." The regret radiating from Katie was powerful, almost palpable. "If you... if _we_... don't fight for her, we'll lose her forever."

Naomi's eyes locked with Katie's, and she could see her own fear mirrored in the brunette's. "Be brave." Katie squeezed her shoulder gently. "I'll back you up."

Naomi remained rooted to the spot, as Katie moved away and resumed walking back to the house. _Be brave. _It was what Emily had told her to do when Naomi had been too scared last year to want a girl back. And so it was fitting that it'd be Emily's twin to unknowingly haunt her with those same words. Katie was right. She _was _a fucking coward who always ran from emotions, from attachment. She had failed to be brave when Emily encouraged her to do so. She wasn't sure if she would be successful now.

Maybe she'd fail again. Maybe she wouldn't. All she knew at that point was that she had to go back home, back to Emily. Retracing her steps, Naomi knew that, for now, that's all that mattered.

* * *

**A/N**: Hello everyone! It's been a while since I've journeyed into the fanfic world, and I must say I'm a bit nervous jumping back in with a brand new fandom. My good friend and beta reader, **The Last Moccasin**, introduced me to Skins and Naomily a few months ago, and I've been obsessed ever since. Hence, this story - which is basically what I would have liked to see in S4 between Emily and Naomi. I've been reading a lot of Naomily fanfic and I am just blown away by everyone's talent and creativity, especially with the AU stories. I actually have an AU fic planned as well, but I'm a bit more anxious about that one, so I thought maybe a more canon story could help me work out my nerves and shake off some rust. Anyhow, I'm rambling. Sorry 'bout that. Hope you enjoy the story and if you do (or if you don't), please drop me a line! :)


	2. Chapter 2

"Gordon McPherson says that girls on the rebound are twice as likely to let you into their box."

Emily Fitch paused mid-sip, her cup of tea suspended just before it could reach her lips. She stared at her younger brother as he walked toward the small kitchen table where she sat, matter-of-factly bestowing this latest bit of prepubescent "wisdom" on her.

"What?" Emily scrunched her forehead ever so slightly. By now, she should have been used to the shit that came out of James's mouth. But his words took her by surprise nonetheless.

"So do you think I'll get my shot at Naomi now that you've broken up?" James asked as he sat down across from her, the metal legs of the yellow bucket chair scraping the ceramic tiles of the kitchen floor.

"We haven't," Emily said, setting her cup down without taking one sip and focusing all her will power not to slam it on the table. "We haven't broken up."

James ripped open a pack of garibaldi's - _Naomi's _garibaldi's, Emily thought with a deepening frown - and proceeded to stuff them into his gaping maw.

"That not what mum said," he said, biscuit crumbs and miniscule globs of purple currants flying out from his mouth like tiny, germ-filled missiles.

"Mum?"

_What the fuck? _Even though Jenna hadn't said a single word about Naomi since the barbecue earlier, Emily just knew her mother was secretly gloating over the current friction between Emily and Naomi. Anger burned in her stomach at the thought.

"No need to worry about Naomi," James waved her off, dismissively. "She'll be in good hands."

_I'm gonna kill him. _

Before the teacup could shatter in Emily's tight grip, an irritated growl rang out:

"Bugger off, worm. I'd have a better shot at Naomi than you ever could."

Emily watched as her twin, Katie, swung open the saloon-style doors of the kitchen's entrance and breezed into the room, snatching the last biscuit from James's grubby little hands.

"Fuck you, bitch!" He exclaimed.

"What did you say?" Katie stepped menacingly toward him. James rightly had the fear of God in his eyes, and Emily couldn't help but feel a bit gleeful at the possibility of tormenting her brother.

"Nothing!" He shot out of his seat and, unfortunately, scampered out of the room before Katie could grab his ear or do any other damage.

"That's what I thought, loser." The elder Fitch called out after him. "God, he's a fucking little perv, isn't he?" Katie said with a shake of her head. She took a bite of the biscuit. "Wonder who he gets that from." She looked pointedly at Emily, who rolled her eyes in response.

"You, obviously," Emily said, finally taking a sip of tea. She let the liquid warm her, hoping it would have a calming effect. The last thing she needed was a bout with Katie.

"Right, he gets his obsession with tits and fannies from _me _and decided to leave _me _all his porn that time he tried to run away," Katie said with a smirk. She quickly occupied the seat James had vacated.

Emily couldn't help but chuckle, nodding her head in a, _You got me there_, fashion. "Yeah, well, the inability to stop himself from saying whatever the fuck enters his mind... _that _he gets from you."

"Um, it's called being honest, Ems. You should try it sometime."

"What you call being honest," Emily made quote marks in the air as she said the last two words, "is what I call being a bitch."

"You love me."

"About as much as I love cock."

They glared at each other for all of three seconds before they both broke out in a fit of giggles. Emily couldn't remember the last time she could just laugh with Katie. It felt like ages since they weren't at each others' throats. It had only taken a day of family feuding, a slap in the face, and a crying jag in the guest bedroom for Emily to realize just how much she needed and missed her twin sister.

"Want some more tea?" Katie lifted herself from the chair and walked to a cupboard. She pulled down a white and green mug with the logo, "Greenpeace," adorned on its side.

"No, I'm good," Emily said, her brown eyes tracking Katie as she placed a bag of earl grey into the mug and moved toward the stove. She settled back into the chair and took in the sight of her twin. Katie was still dressed in the same sweats and tank-top combo she wore earlier when their family had their last meal in their now repossessed home. But now, she had on an oddly familiar gray hoodie that looked a bit too large on her petite frame. _Since when does Katie own one_? Emily frowned slightly in confusion. Her sister, ever the fashion diva, would never be caught dead in something so worn and frumpy. Even when she exercised, Katie always had to wear matching workout clothes. Something stylish. Preferably in leopard print.

Her sister pulled the sleeve of the sweater down over her right hand and used it as a makeshift pot holder to lift a worn copper kettle and pour steaming water into her cup. Katie returned to the kitchen table and sat down once again. As if sensing her twin's thoughts, Katie followed Emily's questioning gaze and looked down at herself, almost self-consciously, before saying, "Naomi let me borrow it."

Emily's pulse automatically quickened at the mention of her blonde-haired, blue-eyed girlfriend, and she silently cursed herself for the reaction.

"Hideous really." Katie looked back up at her sister and shrugged. "But it was getting cold."

Emily didn't know what was more shocking - the fact that Katie was wearing a hoodie in the first place or that she got it from Naomi. Okay, no, that was a lie. The latter was indeed more shocking.

"You were with Naomi?" Emily tried to sound casual, but she couldn't stop her voice from trembling ever so slightly. _Shit. _

"Yeah, we..." An odd shadow passed through Katie's eyes. Her movements stilled ever so slightly before she bobbed the tea bag up and down in her cup. "We went for a walk."

Emily could only nod slowly, digesting this news. Naomi. And Katie. Taking a walk. Together. Without ripping each other limb from limb. She just couldn't wrap her mind around that one. It seemed.. unholy, somehow. Like a vampire befriending a werewolf. Emily cleared her throat, wanting to ask more, to ask about Naomi, but her pride just wouldn't let her. It didn't matter though. She didn't even need to get the question out for Katie to use their twin telepathy and answer her silent questions.

"She's a mess, Ems. Well, not that she isn't _normally_," Katie rolled her eyes, "but what happened today really did a number on her."

Emily's eyes shot up at her sister in surprise. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Katie, who had done nothing but hate on Naomi ever since middle school, sounded almost sympathetic for the blonde just then.

"She deserved it," the red-head said, surprising even herself with the amount of venom in her reply.

Katie raised her eyes in surprise and sat back in her seat. "I'm not saying she doesn't, but..."

"Why are you defending her?"

"What?" Katie shook her head like it was the most ludicrous thing she had ever heard. "I'm not. I'm not defending her."

"Aren't you?"

"No, Em." Katie said more forcefully this time. "What I'm saying is... if your goal was to hurt her back, then bravo, mission accomplished."

Katie's words struck straight at her heart, and Emily looked away to stare at a wall, fighting back tears that suddenly sprung to her eyes. She knew she could easily blame the drugs and alcohol for her behavior. But deep down, Emily had wanted to hurt Naomi. She had wanted to get her back for sleeping with Sophia, to make her know how excruciating it felt when the person you loved was with another. And yet, despite craving that revenge, she hadn't expected to feel a sharp pang of remorse in knowing she had succeeded, with flying colors no less. She remembered vividly the devastation in Naomi's hauntingly blue eyes. It was too much and Emily had just snapped. She wasn't the bad guy. She wasn't the one who cheated. So instead of letting the guilt overtake her, she had tackled Naomi in an inflatable pool... in front of her family and their friends. And now, after the fact, she just felt horribly ashamed.

"Was it worth it?" Katie asked, as if reading her thoughts again. "Make you feel better?"

Emily remained silent for a beat, before letting out a soft and defeated, "No."

She heard Katie sigh. "Look, I'm not telling you to forgive her or anything 'cause you know I don't give a fuck. But you could at least talk to her?"

Emily closed her eyes, and Katie continued, "She's out back." The chair scraped the floor once again. "I'll be upstairs if you need anything ." When Emily opened her eyes, she found herself alone in the kitchen.

_Talk to Naomi. _If only it could be so simple. They hadn't had a proper discussion ever since Emily found out about Sophia a month or so ago. In fact, many of their interactions had consisted of arguments or thinly veiled attempts at passive aggressiveness, mostly from Emily's part, as she so successfully demonstrated this afternoon. Emily just felt so... so... The words "angry" and "betrayed" didn't and couldn't do it proper justice. She had entrusted Naomi with keeping her heart safe. And in turn, Naomi had stabbed her in the back, cut out a hole, and mercilessly ripped it out of her.

Emily laughed at herself just then, but it came out more like a pitiful sob. _Guess Katie's not the only one who inherited mum's flair for the melodramatic. _She hadn't been dealing with things properly. She knew it. Things needed to change.

Lifting herself from the chair, Emily walked toward the sliding glass door that led to the back yard. Pushing back some strands from its beaded curtain, she tried to make out Naomi's form in the moonlit darkness. She couldn't at first, but then she caught sight of small orange glow hanging in midair. Emily's heart stilled, recognizing it as a lit fag hanging from the corner of the blonde's mouth. She inhaled deeply to steady herself as she watched Naomi fold extra chairs from the party, carefully hooking them on each arm to carry them to the shed.

_If I can't even talk to her, how can I ever expect to __**forgive**__ her? _Emily reached up and placed a hand on the door, lightly tracing Naomi's outline. The glass felt cool underneath her finger.

Forgiveness. It always seemed she had it on endless reserve. Growing up, whenever Katie would be horrible to her, whenever she'd boss her around, or hurt her, Emily always smiled and forgave her no matter what. It's what she was expected to do. Whenever her mum always took Katie's side, and never did the same for her, she would again put on a brave face and forgive. Even with Naomi, who had pushed her away time and again or ran whenever she was too scared to love - Emily always chased after her, ready to provide a second chance... and a third... and a fourth...

But that infinite supply now seemed to be more limited than she had once thought. She knew she should try to forgive Naomi. The blonde, who had vowed to do anything to salvage their relationship, had been nothing but apologetic and truly remorseful. Over the past few weeks, she had looked more like a kicked puppy than the confident, aloof ice queen Emily had fallen for. But even so, try as she might, Emily just couldn't find it within herself to forgive. She had a lifetime of turning the other cheek, of being the bigger person. _I can't do it anymore. _It was just one wound too many, with the latest blow coming from the one person in the whole world she thought she could trust.

But they couldn't go on like this, hurting each other again and again. _That's not love._

Steeling her resolve, Emily quietly slid the door open. She walked toward Naomi, who hadn't noticed her yet. Her heart rate increased steadily with each step she took. Even dressed in a ratty pair of worn jeans and a white t-shirt, Naomi still looked breathtakingly gorgeous.

With her back turned toward Emily, the blonde worked to let air out of the small blue inflatable pool. The same pool Emily had, only hours ago, tackled Naomi into. Emily took a deep breath to quell the burn of shame rising in her chest. As air hissed out of the plastic pool and it slowly collapsed, the remaining water spilled over the sides onto the ground and onto Naomi's feet, wetting her sneakers in the process.

"Fucking hell," Naomi muttered in irritation.

As Emily continued her approach, she watched Naomi's body tense, no doubt sensing her presence. She heard the blonde let out a long sigh.

"If I didn't know any better, Katiekins, I'd start to think you might actually like me," Naomi said without turning around.

The redhead couldn't help but smirk. "Not only would hell have to freeze over before that happened, but heaven itself would need to spontaneously combust and fall to the earth in flames."

Naomi whirled around, a look of shock on her beautiful face. "Emily." Her cigarette tumbled from her lips and landed in the grass.

It broke Emily's heart, as it had countless times before, to watch shifting emotions pass through the other girl's sky-blue eyes, from surprise to pain and wariness before finally settling on blank. Naomi's walls had gone instantly back up, her expression guarded.

Emily looked down at Naomi's shirt, which had a picture of a baby pig on the front. Her heart thudded against her rib cage in instant recognition. It had been the same shirt Naomi had worn the first time they made love, by their pond, in the forest. Back then, Naomi had only looked at her with love and want and tenderness. It felt like a lifetime ago.

"Do you need help?" Emily walked past the still stunned Naomi and crouched down next to the pool. Without waiting for an answer, she began to lift one side, causing the water to spill over on the opposite side.

"No, you don't have to-"

"I want to." Emily looked up over her shoulder at Naomi before turning her attention back to the pool. She lifted it completely and emptied the water into the grass. She nearly squeaked as the cold splashed onto her sandaled feet.

"Careful, you'll get yourself all wet." Naomi appeared at her side, helping her to lift the blue plastic all the way up and shake as much excess liquid off as possible.

"It's only water," Emily said, holding her breath when she realized just how close Naomi's hand was to hers in gripping the side of the pool. "It'll dry."

Even after all that had happened, Emily still felt a jolt whenever Naomi was in close, their proximity alone charging the air around them with unreleased static electricity. It made the fine hairs on her arm stand at attention.

Naomi's eyes drifted to their hands as well. She cleared her throat, uncomfortable, and tugged the now deflated plastic from Emily's grip. "I'll just, uh, set it over here." She carried the pool to a dry patch of grass farther back into the yard and turned it over on the ground to air out.

Naomi stood and stared at it then, hands on her hips, not saying anything. Emily looked down at her feet sadly. She didn't know what to say. Before, they could talk about anything. In between their lovemaking, they would talk for hours on end, about everything and nothing. And now neither of them could think of a single thing to say.

"Emily."

"Naomi."

They both looked at each other and laughed awkwardly from speaking at the same time. It was the first genuine smile Emily had seen on Naomi's face for quite some time. Estrangement or not, it still warmed her to the core.

"Go ahead." Naomi nodded toward Emily, encouraging her to go first.

Emily didn't quite know where to begin, so she blurted out the first thing that came to her mind. "There's, um, leftover pizza if you're hungry. We brought it back from dinner. There's even a veggie. I know it's your favorite." _Fuck. _Emily inwardly winced as she continued to ramble on about stupid shit.

"Yeah, Katie mentioned it earlier." Naomi gave her a small smile. "I might get some in a bit."

Emily nodded, while Naomi reached into her pants pocket to pull out her cigarettes. She packed the box lightly against her hand before removing two. She offered one to Emily, who gratefully took it and placed it between her lips. Pulling out a black zippo, Naomi flicked it and sparked a flame. She brought it forward to Emily first. As the redhead took a couple of quick drags to ensure the fag had lit properly, she glanced up into Naomi's blue eyes, which looked down at her mouth before flicking up to hold her gaze.

Feeling suddenly lightheaded, the redhead took two steps back, exhaling as she removed the cigarette from her mouth with two fingers. She needed to keep space between them. Otherwise, she knew she wouldn't be able to go through with what had to be done. Naomi promptly lit her own fag. If she had felt hurt by Emily pulling away, she didn't show it.

Emily took another deep pull from the cigarette, needing a spot of courage even if chemically induced. "Naomi, about earlier," her eyes briefly drifted to the now deflated pool, "I just-"

"Em, forget about it," Naomi said, shaking her head.

Emily smiled sadly. That was the problem, wasn't it? Trying to forget without actually dealing with anything. She took a steadying breath and looked straight into blue. "I wish I could, Naoms." She licked her lips. "I'm sorry," _for everything, _"but I can't. I can't do this anymore."

She watched as Naomi's body froze, heard her sharp intake of breath, followed by a loud exhale. "Can't do what?" she asked in whisper, even though Emily was pretty sure Naomi already knew.

"This. Hurting each other." Her voice began to tremble. "I want to forgive you, Naoms. But..." _I just can't. Not right now._

Once the words had left her, Emily instantly wished she could take them back. The emotional wall Naomi had erected crumbled in a flash, and now all Emily could see was undiluted anguish as Naomi realized what Emily was saying. Naomi's body shook slightly, and she dropped her fag for the second time. Emily wanted nothing more than to wrap her arms around Naomi and hold her close until the pain disappeared. But she remained still. She had to see this through to the end. It was the only way.

"So what do you want us to do?" Naomi's quiet voice sounded thick from unshed tears.

"I think we," _just say it, _"we need some time apart."

"You mean split up?"

Hearing Naomi openly voice the possibility of breaking up made Emily's heart crack and she couldn't hold back her tears any longer. "Yes... no... I don't know. Just... time apart." She tried to wipe away the wetness, but it just kept coming. "To sort things."

Naomi didn't say anything, just looked up toward the sky. Emily could see the blonde's cheeks glistening in the moonlight.

"Whatever you need, Ems," Naomi said, struggling to get the words out. " I'll do it."

Emily closed her eyes at Naomi's assent, not sure whether she should feel grateful for the lack of resistance. She tried to ignore the part of her that secretly wished for Naomi to disagree, to tell her she was making a mistake. She willed her body to stop trembling, but failed miserably.

Two strong hands gripped her shoulders. Startled, Emily opened her eyes and saw Naomi standing directly in front of her.

"I'll do anything," Naomi whispered.

Emily's face scrunched up and she couldn't hold back a sob any longer. Unexpectedly, Naomi wrapped her arms around smaller girl's shoulders, pulling her closer. Emily allowed herself to weep openly then, burying her face in Naomi's chest, breathing in Naomi's scent of soap mixed with cigarette smoke and everything that once used to comfort her. The redhead's own arms clutched the blonde's back. They both shook as they tightly held each other, each sharing in the pain they had both caused.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an age, until Emily felt Naomi's lips murmur something into her hair. Emily pulled away slightly. "What?"

"Nothing." Naomi said softly, shaking her head. She let go and ended their embrace. Emily hadn't noticed the chill in the night air when she first stepped outside. But now, absent the warmth of Naomi's body, she shivered. They stared at each other for a few more moments, tears both staining their faces, before the blonde looked away.

"It's... it's getting cold, and Katie already stole my sweater," Naomi said, attempting a smile, but it in no way reached her eyes. "You should probably go in. I'll... finish up out here."

Emily nodded once, not wanting to leave Naomi, but turned and walked shakily back to the house nonetheless. Her heart pounded, not just from what happened, but from what she thought she heard from Naomi. Although she couldn't be completely sure, she thought it sounded suspiciously like:

_Stay alive. _

Once Emily reached the sliding glass door, she chanced one glance back at Naomi and found the blonde staring directly at her. It was then Emily knew that perhaps she hadn't heard incorrectly after all. Because in Naomi's gaze, she could feel the resounding follow-up:

_I will find you._

* * *

**A/N**: Thank you so much for all the story alerts and reviews! It really means a lot to me. :) Please do keep reviewing if you like the story or if you'd like to provide some constructive criticism. :) I do love engaging in discussion with readers. As always, I can never thank my beta, **The Last Moccasin, **enough for all her help. :)


	3. Chapter 3

Naomi Campbell slammed the redhead up against a coarse brick wall, pushing into her desperately with the full length of her body. Roughly, she tangled her fingers through the smaller girl's long auburn locks and seized her lips with her own in domination. The other woman moaned against her mouth, in pain or pleasure, Naomi wasn't sure. But she didn't care if she was hurting her. The blonde was beyond caring - she had the alcohol to thank for that. It blazed like a raging wildfire in her belly, spreading into her veins and making her blood boil. All she wanted was to wipe her memory clean of the alternating bouts of raw hurt and numb emptiness that tormented her on a daily basis. But mostly, she wanted to erase _this_ night, and with it the realization that she had lost everything.

* * *

_Earlier_

Naomi knocked back three shots of tequila in rapid succession, loving the way the sweetly bitter tang of agave coated her tongue as the liquor rolled down her throat in a delicious burn. She slammed the last glass down on a grubby wooden table inside Fishpond's Tavern.

"Oi, slow down there, mate," Freddie McLair said to her right before he downed his own shot. "Or you'll be of no use during the quiz."

The blonde cocked an eyebrow at the skater, who marred his ridiculously pretty features with a hideous brown bowler made of straw mesh .

"Pretty sure I'll be more effective drunk than you with your stupid hat," she said with a smirk. She pushed the empty shot glasses toward the middle of the table with one hand while lifting a pint of lager to her lips with the other. _Cold beer…the perfect chaser._

"How many times have I got to tell you?" He leaned forward and tugged at the hat's lid. "This here's our lucky charm. We hardly ever lose when I'm sportin' it."

Naomi rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to respond when J.J. Jones chimed in across from her.

"Although there is a strong correlation between our victories and the instances in which you adorn that particular monstrosity," the curly haired teen began, prompting an outraged "Hey!" from Freddie. "An analysis of our performances would likely reveal that our success has little to do with luck," he nodded at Freddie's hat, "and more to do with the combined knowledge of Naomi, Thomas, and myself."

"What are you saying, Jay?" Freddie frowned. "That I don't pull my weight?"

"Well, Freddie, in the seven week's since we've all attended Keith's quiz night together since Cook's incarceration, Naomi has had a 92 percent answer accuracy rate in comparison to your 23 percent, with the hat, even where she has had, on average, 4.7 more drinks than you. And given your differences in size and body type, I would hazard that she is, in fact, more inebriated than you when she obtains such superior results."

"What?" Freddie's mouth hung open, looking honestly hurt, like a kicked puppy. "No, that can't be right." He turned to the table's fourth occupant. "Thommo?"

Thomas Tomone shrugged and shook his head, a sheepish smile appearing on his handsome dark features. "I am afraid it is true, Freddie."

"Well, fuck." Freddie twisted in his seat and motioned to Christina behind the bar to bring another round of shots the table, with the exception of J.J., who was still nursing a tall glass of mango juice. "Drink up then, geniuses. Gotta beat the competition, don't we?"

Naomi leaned back in her chair and took a large gulp of beer, watching the guys over the rim of the glass as they continued with their banter. She had never been particularly close to any of them. _Alright that's a fucking understatement, _Naomi inwardly snorted_. I barely exchanged three sentences with any of them before._

But all that changed when Cook got himself thrown into jail. One night, when the guilt about letting him take the fall about Sophia and the weight of Emily's anger had became too much to bear, Naomi had found herself wandering the dark streets of Bristol until she found herself at Fishpond's on Keith's quiz night. There, she had bumped into J.J. and Freddie, who had decided to continue their tradition of attendance in honor of their absent third musketeer.

They welcomed Naomi to join them that evening-_Our honorary D'artagnan, _J.J. had said-and she accepted. She had been to quiz nights before - with Emily and with the entire gang. But that particular night had stood out for some reason. Keith's repulsiveness aside, it had been silly and fun. And Naomi, surprisingly, had enjoyed every pointless second of it. So much so that she continued to show up every week. Eventually, J.J. even got Thomas to join them.

"Hey, I've got a new trick to show you guys," J.J. interrupted her thoughts, his bright blue eyes lighting up his smiling face. "I'll need two coins and a tenner." He snatched one of the empty shot glasses and looked eagerly at his three companions.

Thomas placed a golden one pound coin in J.J.'s open palm, while Freddie handed over a darkly tarnished bronze two pence. J.J. raised his brows at Freddie, who shrugged, "What? It's all I've got," before turning toward Naomi.

"Oh hell no," the blonde said, crossing her arms. "Last time I gave you money, you fucking burned it!"

The curly haired teen raised his hands in contrition. "That time was a misfire, quite literally. I promise there will be no combustion attempts this time around."

Naomi was about to refuse again, but J.J. looked so damned earnest and expectant, that she grudgingly caved in.

"Jesus," she muttered, reluctantly digging into the pocket of her jeans and producing a bank note and slapping it on the table. "All you're getting is a fiver." _When did I become so fucking soft?_

"Thank you," J.J. nodded in appreciation. Placing the golden coin over the bronze one, he flipped the shot glass over them to trap them inside. Next, he lifted Naomi's bill, taking care to show both its sides to his captive audience before balancing it atop the overturned glass. He wiggled his fingers and then snapped the fiver off, as if he were yanking a table cloth from under fine china. Now, only the two pence remained inside the glass while the one pound coin sat on top where the note had been.

Naomi did a double take, but before anyone could react, J.J. lifted one finger up to indicate he wasn't done. He covered the one pound coin again with the fiver, wiggled his fingers once more, and pulled the note off with flourish. Gold and bronze were together once more inside the shot glass.

The amazed table erupted in a round of applause. "Fucking nice one, J.J.," Freddie said, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.

"Yes," a widely grinning Thomas added, shaking his head in amazement. "You must teach me."

Quite obviously flattered, J.J. rubbed his hands together. "Well, it's quite simple actually. Here's what you do..."

As he explained the intricacies of his trick, Naomi again marveled at how comfortable she felt with the guys. They were just so easy to be around. They never talked about anything too deep or uncomfortable; the topics generally focused on the answers to Keith's absurd quiz questions or J.J.'s latest magic trick.

Even after the truth had come out about her involvement with Sophia, they never discussed it, just like they never broached the subject about Panda with Thomas. It was like an unspoken pact to not talk about the real world while inside their quiz night bubble.

And when Emily had asked for time apart, which Naomi assumed was really just code for "break up," they never questioned Naomi about how she felt about it. There was no need. They already knew it was shit. They left her alone unlike, say, Katie Fitch.

The elder twin had been none too please when she learned about what transpired between Naomi and Emily, and, in usual Katie fashion, had oh so subtly voiced her disapproval to the blonde the following Monday at college.

_"You._

_Fucking._

_Cunt!"_

_Katie banged the door to Naomi's locker closed with her fist just as the blonde had pulled the last of her books out. If Naomi had been just a second too late, she would have lost both hands and ended up with two bloody stumps at the end of each arm._

_"And a lovely morning to you, Katiekins," Naomi said calmly, lifting the flap of her messenger bag and placing the texts inside. She looked directly into Katie's flashing dark eyes, pretending to be ignorant about what had turned Emily's twin into a mad fucking cow once again. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your sunny disposition?"_

"_Don't fucking play dumb," Katie growled at her. If she could bare fangs, she would. "You broke up with her!"_

_"I didn't," Naomi shook her. _Not that it's any of your business_, she mentally added. "It's what Emily wanted."_

_"And you just went along with it?"_

_The blonde sighed at the exasperated irritation in Katie's voice. "What else was I supposed to do?"_

_"Um, fight for her, you mong? We talked about it!"_

_"Katie," Naomi whispered. "I love her. I had to let her go."_

_Katie stared at her, hard, for a good long while, like Naomi was speaking some alien language she couldn't comprehend. If Katie had the ability to shoot laser beams out of her eye sockets, Naomi was sure she would have been incinerated instantly, leaving nothing but a black scorch mark on the college's floor tiles._

_Naomi mentally prepared herself for an incoming slap to the face, scratching, hair pulling, and the like. But nothing came. Instead, Katie abruptly turned on her heel and stormed off, muttering under her breath, "Jesus, you're hopeless."_

Afterward, Naomi had fantasized about throwing Katie out on her arse. It would serve the bitch right. But she just couldn't do it… partly because of her mum and her hippy love-thy-neighbor ideals… but mostly because of Emily. It was always about Emily. And Naomi would never hurt the redhead's flesh and blood despite the great pleasure she would no doubt have in doing so.

A few days later, Jenna received a wire transfer from her parents and she, Rob, and James moved into a temporary camper until they could locate an inexpensive flat. Katie, still adamantly refusing to live in a camper, remained at Naomi's, much to the blonde's utter delight.

But Emily had left.

Naomi thought she'd be strong enough to handle the pain. But it was worse than she could ever imagine; a torture like no other. Reminders of Emily were everywhere, from pictures and her little hand written notes strewn about, to the aroma of her strawberry body wash that lingered in the bathroom. Even Naomi's pillows and comforter carried Emily's scent, and it would drive the blonde mad with regret and want. Even after she washed the sheets, Naomi had kept one of Emily's t-shirts underneath her pillow. She clutched it at night, breathing in Emily's essence. It was the only way she could sleep.

She could barely look anywhere without thinking of Emily. Of course, it didn't help that her nearly identical twin lived there. But apart from that, so many things were touched by her – the green living room couch where Emily would fall asleep in her arms whenever Naomi forced her to watch some political activism documentary; the wooden stairs where they made love when they didn't have the patience to make it to the bedroom; the kitchen table where they would read the morning paper, naked, and Emily would spoon feed Naomi her breakfast of yogurt and muesli.

At college, Naomi was forced to watch Emily from a distance. They didn't speak to each other, save for the exchange of a few banal pleasantries. Whenever something funny or interesting happened in her day, all Naomi wanted to do was tell Emily, who had not only been her girlfriend, but her best friend. But she couldn't. She had driven her away. Naomi thought that might have been the worst part about their separation.

Since then, Naomi remained M.I.A. socially, focusing all her attention on college coursework and making herself scarce in order to honor Emily's request for space... even if the distance ate her up inside and left her crippled with pain by nightfall.

She made an exception for quiz night, though. It was the rare instance in which she'd allow herself to escape, to feel normal... even for just a few hours.

The door at the corner of the pub opened, catching Naomi's attention, and a familiar brunette entered. She watched as Effy Stonem's blue eyes skimmed across the seated patrons, until they came to rest on their table. She walked over then, the corners of her mouth upturned slightly. Naomi couldn't help but think Effy looked... off... somehow, her normally bright azure orbs appearing duller than normal.

Freddie followed Naomi's gaze to his girlfriend, his raised eyebrows disappearing under the brim of his hat. "Babe," he said, wrapping an arm around her hips when she was close enough. "What are you doing here?"

Effy leaned down and gave Freddie a peck on the lips. "Surprise." She straightened and looked at J.J. and Thomas. "Gentlemen." Her gaze eventually settled on the blonde, and her smile widened. "So the rumors are true. The elusive Naomi Campbell still graces the lowly with her presence. It's like a unicorn sighting."

"Your lucky day, isn't it?" The blonde replied, leaning back in her chair.

"Right," Effy drawled, elongating the word languidly with her melodic voice. "_**My**_ lucky day."

Naomi didn't know why, but she felt her stomach sink, unnerved by the brunette's not so thinly veiled amusement.

"Naomi always comes to quiz night," J.J. said, gazing up adoringly at his former crush. "You're more than welcome to join us, Effy."

"Thanks, J.J.," Effy winked, "but it's ladies night."

_Ladies...night?_

Naomi's heart stilled as the door opened once again and Pandora Moon bounced in like a hyper 5-year-old, followed by… _Jesus_… Katie Fitch. Every muscle in Naomi's body tensed. _Please God no. _But the desperate prayer fell on deaf ears as a flash of red appeared in the doorway and Emily walked in, looking as breathtaking as ever in nothing more than jeans and a black baby-doll tee.

_Shit._

Emily paused in midstride when she caught sight of Effy and the occupants of the table she was visiting. When her big brown eyes reached Naomi, the blonde's rapidly beating heart leapt into her throat. Anxiety left Naomi's mouth parched, while all the warmth rushed out of her hands, leaving them ice cold.

Emily raised her eyebrows at Naomi, but otherwise didn't react to the blonde's presence. They held each others' gazes until Katie walked back and tugged her sister to a nearby table that Panda had selected.

As soon as they sat down, Naomi's eyes frantically darted around the bar, trying to find an escape route even though she knew none existed. The walls seemed to be caving in and it was getting harder and harder to breath. She felt a hand gently squeeze her knee and she looked up, startled, into Thomas's calming dark eyes. She could tell by the tautness around his eyes and mouth that he was every bit as uneasy as she. Despite that, he smiled at her and Naomi let out a shaky breath, comforted somewhat by the knowledge that someone else understood.

"Oh that's fucking great, Eff." Freddie frowned as he took note of the newcomers.

Effy tilted her head to one side, all faux innocence. "What? We used to do quiz nights all the time."

"Yeah, but that was before," Freddie's eyes slid to Thomas and Naomi before looking up once again at Effy, "before Cook got himself locked up."

"Then it's about time we revived it." With that, she gave them one last nod and went to join the three girls who sat two or three tables over.

An uncomfortable silence descended on their table. The arrival of their other friends had popped the reality-free bubble Naomi and the boys had carefully crafted over the last several weeks. J.J.'s fingers fidgeted with a pencil, half its size from use, with its eraser bitten clean off. He tapped it nervously on their quiz answer sheet. Thomas merely stared at the table, most likely willing himself not to look at Panda.

Christina brought their drinks out then. Naomi had already forgotten Freddie had ordered them. Before the bartender even had a chance to set the glasses down, Naomi grabbed her shot, and Freddie's and Thomas's, and downed them all.

This time, Freddie didn't tell her to slow down. He knew as well as she did that it was going to be a long night, and Naomi would need all the help she could get.

* * *

Two quiz rounds in, and Naomi was buzzing quite nicely, her mind fuzzy, muscles loose and relaxed. It almost made her forget who was sitting just a few tables over. _Almost._

"So does anyone know the answer to the question?" J.J. looked around the table. It was obvious by the way he fidgeted in his seat that he, in fact, already knew it.

Naomi turned toward him, and the room continued to tilt even when her head stopped moving. _Whoa..._

"What was it again?" Freddie asked, his speech a bit slurred. He lifted a pint and took a sip as he leaned lazily on his chair, one arm draped down its back. Clearly, Naomi wasn't the only one whose attention to the quiz had lapsed.

"The pituitary gland releases what during activities such as strenuous exercise and sex?" Thomas repeated slowly, as if in deep concentration. "I am positive it must be related to runner's high." He bent forward, resting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands underneath the table. "But I am afraid I do not know the answer."

"Spunk?" Freddie drunkenly chuckled at the Congo native.

"The pituitary gland is located in your brain, Freddie, and I highly doubt you ejaculate during exercise," J.J. said, shaking his at his best friend. "Or at least I would hope not," he grimaced before turning toward the blonde. "Naomi?"

The blonde squinted at the three J.J.s staring at her. "En…endorphins," she managed to say despite the spinning room.

The curly haired boy's face fell. "Right." He jotted down the answer dutifully.

Naomi had only known because of Rob Fitch and one of his never ending lectures on high calorie burns. During one Fitch family dinner that Jenna had so graciously allowed Naomi to attend...that is, Emily didn't tell her mum who would be joining them... Rob had waxed poetic about endorphins and runner's high, to which James had helpfully added that Gordon McPherson said a similar effect was produced with orgasm. Naomi had nearly choked on her boiled tofu.

The blonde smiled sadly at the memory.

"Guess we should be thankful you're with us blokes and not with the competition," Freddie said.

At that, Naomi eyes involuntarily slid toward said "competition." Effy looked bored, with her head propped up by her arm, elbow on the table. To Effy's right, Panda scribbled down trivia answers furiously on a piece of paper. Either that, or she was doodling. Possibly both. Naomi knew she shouldn't look at the twins, but she couldn't help it. As they spoke to each other, Katie seemed to sense Naomi's gaze and shot her a brief, sympathetic look.

Emily, however, kept her focus on her own table, and Naomi took the opportunity to allow her eyes to caress every inch of her. She watched as Emily reached a hand up to tuck her silky red hair behind her ear, and was mesmerized by the movement of her soft, perfect lips as she said something to Panda that made the boisterous girl laugh.

Naomi felt an all-too familiar sting in her eyes and she looked away just as the high-pitched squeal of microphone feedback cut through the air, making everyone in the pub cringe.

"Alright you twats," Keith growled into the microphone. He hacked up a particularly nasty ball of phlegm and spit it in a glass. "Question number four: What was the name of Anna Karenina's illicit lover?"

"That is easy," Thomas replied confidently. "Vronsky."

"Well done, Thommo," J.J. said, writing down the answer.

Freddie scratched the back of his head. "That the one where she cheats on her husband, right?"

"Yes," Thomas nodded.

"Perfect question for this table, then, ain't it?" Freddie said. The alcohol had clearly removed any filter between his brain and his mouth. "We're a regular cheatin' hearts club, aren't we?"

Even in their alcoholic stupor, Naomi and Thomas both stiffened.

"Actually, Freddie, that wouldn't exactly be an apt description of the entire table," J.J. said, "as I have never actually cheated on anyone."

"No? You're an honorary member, Jay," Freddie shook an unsteady finger at him. "You shagged someone who was with someone else."

J.J.'s blue eyes shifted nervously to Naomi before he took a sip of mango juice to cover up his discomfort. "Well… that's…"

"Don't be a tit, Freddie," Naomi snapped. She had made peace with what happened between J.J. and Emily long ago. It didn't need rehashing.

"I'm not," Freddie frowned. "Just stating facts." He lifted his pint. "So, shall we toast to it then? The cheating hearts club?"

Naomi didn't move. Neither did the other two. She didn't understand what was going on with Freds. He had been just fine until Effy and the others had showed up. _Trouble in paradise, perhaps?_

"Being dishonorable is nothing to be proud of," Thomas said quietly.

"No it's not," Freddie nodded, setting his beer down with a loud clank. The liquid sloshed about from the impact. "But you can at least own up to being a fucked up wanker, yeah?"

Drunk Freddie was annoying, but he had a point. "Ah fuck it," Naomi said with a shrug. "I'm a bit of a twat. I'll admit to it."

"Just a bit?" Freddie asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Fuck you," she said with a smile.

Thomas cleared his throat. "Instead of toasting our failures, why don't we vow to right our wrongs." He looked over at Pandora as he spoke.

"Is that even possible?" Naomi asked.

Thomas shook his head sadly. "I do not know." He smiled at her. "But we can try."

"I can...drink to that," Naomi lifted her print, and the others joined in the cheers, their glasses clinking together. They all emptied their drinks.

Naomi couldn't stop herself from sneaking another glance at Emily, and her stomach plummeted down to her feet.

Emily was staring right at her.

Heat flushed the blonde's cheeks and she quickly tore her gaze from the redhead. It had lasted all of three seconds, but it had been enough to cause Naomi's heart to race. She stood abruptly, her legs wobbling. She had to get away, even just for a little while.

"Be right back," she said off the questioning glances from the guys before making her way to the restroom. Naomi did her best to walk in as straight a line as possible as she navigated around tables in the room, which swayed and rocked like she was standing on the deck of a ship out at sea. She eventually reached her destination and pulled open the door just as Keith's booming voice once again crackled through old speakers.

"Question number five!" She heard him gruffly shout out as she walked toward a dingy ceramic sink rimmed with brown stains. "Who wrote and made famous the phrase, 'All you need is love?' And if you don't know this one, your tits should be cut off and-"

The door closed, muffling out the rest of Keith's no doubt charming remarks. _Lennon got _**that **_one wrong, _Naomi thought as she turned on a faucet, cupped her hands under the cool water, and splashed it onto her burning face. _Sometimes love isn't enough. _

She turned off the water and gripped the sides of the sink, willing the room to stop spinning and trying to ignore her now churning stomach. _Perhaps the last three shots weren't such a good idea._ The sound of pub chatter grew louder and then became muted once again as the restroom door swung open and shut behind her. Whoever had entered was staring at her. She could tell by the way the fine hairs at the nape of her neck started to rise. But Naomi didn't bother acknowledging whoever it was.

Instead she pulled a couple of rough brown paper towels from a nearby dispenser and wiped her face dry, not caring if it scratched at her skin. The blonde heard the person approach and begin washing her hands at the sink to her right. Naomi threw out the worn towel and caught sight of the newcomer.

_Effy._

Blue met blue through the reflection of the bathroom mirror. "So?" The brunette broke the silence, giving Naomi one of her patented raised eyebrows.

"So..." Naomi crossed her arms and hoped she was standing tall and straight and not teetering like a thin tree on a blustery day. "You planned this, didn't you?"

"A relaxing night out with the girls?" Effy dried her hands and leaned a hip against the sink, tilting her head to the side. "Of course."

"That's… that's not what I mean and you know it."

"Actually, no, I don't know."

"Right," the blonde scoffed. She rolled her eyes and headed to the door, not willing to play Effy's head games.

"Naomi?"

The blonde paused, her hand still on the door, using it for support. She didn't turn around, knew she couldn't bear feeling exposed under Effy's piercing gaze.

"Did you ever give her a reason?" The brunette continued.

"What?"

"Emily. Did you give her a reason to stay?"

"I..."

The door swung open and Naomi lost her balance. Pitching forward, she clumsily landed in the arms of a startled Katie Fitch.

"Watch it, lezzer." Two surprisingly strong hands pushed the blonde back upright and steadied her. "Got the wrong twin."

When she was sure Naomi wouldn't topple over, Katie released her. Wrinkling her nose as if she caught a whiff of something putrid, Katie looked Naomi up and down. She did nothing to hide her obvious displeasure at Naomi's appearance – long white t-shirt, black vest, and jeggings haphazardly patterned in orange, yellow, and green. Naomi hadn't even bothered to run a brush through her blonde locks before meeting the guys.

"Jesus, pull yourself together, Campbell," Katie said, brushing past the blonde, who stumbled back out into the chatter-filled bar.

Naomi turned and surveyed the room, taking note that Panda now sat alone at the competition's table, still focused on the answer sheet. Naomi glanced over at the guys. Freddie was gone, probably outside having a smoke. Thomas, the poor sod, was still looking in Panda's direction, while J.J. watched Naomi. He tilted his head toward the bar, and Naomi turned to see Emily standing there, ordering more drinks.

Naomi's common sense screamed at her to go sit next to J.J. and Thomas, but the booze had other ideas. As if on autopilot, she approached Emily, who stood with her back toward her. She was so close now. All Naomi had to do was reach a hand out, and she could stroke the smooth auburn locks.

"Pretty brave of you to leave Panda alone," Naomi blurted out, causing Emily to jump and stare at her with wide brown eyes. "All her answers'll probably be about Harry Potter."

"Yeah," Emily replied after she recovered. "She's offered 'Voldemort' as the answer for two questions now, but she's actually more clever than you might guess."

"Right..." Naomi could only nod. Awkwardly. "So… how, uh," _So fucking eloquent. _"How've you been?" She slid her hands, which wanted nothing more than to pull Emily close, into the back pockets of her jeggings.

"I've been..." Emily trailed off, pulling at her lower lip with her teeth slightly. Her brow furrowed ever so subtly. "You know..."

"Yeah," Naomi breathed out, trying not to feel hopeful that maybe the distance between them had been affecting Emily just as strongly."By the way, you look…" _Amazing. Wonderful. Mind-blowing. _"Good." The blonde resisted the urge to smack herself on the forehead.

"Thanks," the redhead smiled. "You look—"

"Like shit?" Naomi smirked, self-consciously running a hand through her unkempt hair. "It's a new trend. Totally in. Katie loves it."

"I'll bet," Emily chuckled and Naomi's heart nearly burst at the beautifully husky sound. "But no, you always look great to me, Naoms."

Emily's words made the blonde's head feel more weightless than any drink ever could. Realizing what she had just said, Emily turned back toward the bar and cleared her throat slightly. "So how do you like living with Katie?"

"Oh it's fucking heaven." Naomi moved to stand next to Emily, who raised an eyebrow at her. "Who doesn't enjoy being criticized every second of every day?"

The redhead smiled apologetically. "That's Katie for you."

"It's actually not so bad," Naomi conceded. "When she manages to keep her mouth shut, that is." Truth be told, some small part of Naomi actually enjoyed having Katie around… if only because it was a way for her to still feel connected to Emily. "And how are things at the camper?"

"Ugh, I had to get out of there," Emily rolled her eyes. "Mum was driving me up the wall."

"So where've you been staying?" Naomi asked tentatively, afraid the redhead would tell her at any moment to mind her own business.

"With Panda. Her aunt's actually. She's gone on holiday."

Christina appeared at the bar with Emily's drinks, a tray of eight shots of what appeared to be vodka, as Naomi absorbed this new information. "She make you play Twister?"

"Nearly every night," Emily laughed.

Jealousy stabbed through Naomi at the thought of someone else having fun with Emily, even if it was only Panda. How much worse would it be if it was another girl, someone the redhead might show an interest in. The possibility made the blonde feel queasy… or was that from the alcohol?

"Naomi?" Emily caught her attention once again. Naomi looked deeply into her dark brown pools. "I've… I've missed...this."

The blonde felt her heart squeeze. "Me too," Naomi replied, feeling warm from Emily's admission.

Emily took a deep breath. "We can… try to be friends, can't we?" She exhaled the words in a rush.

And the warmth Naomi had felt dissipated in a flash. It was as if someone had dumped a bucket of freezing water onto the blonde, and she sobered instantly.

"Friends." Naomi gripped the edge of the bar, hoping the word didn't come out bitterly. Even though she had already assumed their time apart would lead to a break up, she still held onto some hope that maybe Emily would give them another chance. "So you've decided then?"

"It's for the best," Emily murmured, not looking Naomi in the eye. "Don't you agree?"

_No, I don't fucking agree_, Naomi's heart shouted, but she bit her tongue. What could she possibly say to fix this? She fucked up. Royally. She couldn't expect Emily to forgive her when she couldn't even forgive herself.

_Did you give her a reason to stay? _Effy's words came back to haunt Naomi. _No. I didn't... but even if I did, would it matter? It's too late._

"Naomi?" Emily placed her small hand on Naomi's forearm and the blonde nearly flinched from the light touch.

"Of course." Naomi forced a smile on her face and moved away from Emily. _I'll take whatever I can get...even if it kills me. _An unreadable shadow seemed to pass through Emily's chocolate orbs, but she nodded.

"I'll catch you later," Emily said, lifting the tray of drinks from the bar and carrying it back to her table, where Panda, Effy, and Katie were waiting.

"Right, later."

_Friends._

Naomi repeated the word over and over again. It was more than she deserved after what she did to Emily, who had every right not to speak to her ever again. But it didn't stop the crushing disappointment that weighed on her heart now. She had to leave, didn't want to break down right then and there. She bolted for the door, ignoring the questioning glances from her friends, and ran outside, past Freddie. The skater had been leaning back against the pub's facade with a burning cigarette between his lips.

"Hey, where're you going?" She heard him ask.

"To be dishonorable," she threw over her shoulder.

Freddie jogged up to catch her. "Then wait for me."

* * *

As the night wore on, Naomi wasn't sure what happened to Freddie. They had gone to some random night club together and promptly got separated when Freddie went to check his phone. It was in an alcohol-induced delirium that she saw the girl with ruby streaks in her hair. She wasn't the right redhead, but she would do. It didn't take much for Naomi to get her to dance with her. In rhythm with the driving thumps of the techno music, their bodies grinded together, hands roaming everywhere. And when their mouths met, Naomi ignored the flavor of cheap beer on the girl's tongue and willed herself to not wish she tasted like Emily, like candied cherries.

Before Naomi could fully comprehend what was happening, she found herself out in the cold night air, pressing the nameless replacement up against a brick wall in an alley. The girl nibbled across Naomi's jaw and down the side of her throat, biting down hard where her shoulder met her neck.

Naomi gasped and moaned out, "Emily."

"What?"

Naomi froze.

"What did you call me?"

"Uh..."

"Emily?" The girl pushed Naomi from her body and held her at arm's length, anger creeping into her voice. "That's not my name. Do you even know it?"

Naomi tried to remember - but it was no use. The nonstop drinking had made her brain's capacity for retention as impressive as a sieve holding water. And so fucking what? It was just a snog. The chick had no right to be indignant. It's not like they were going to keep in touch afterward.

"Does it matter?" The blonde heard herself say, and the girl shoved her back. Naomi stumbled, but managed to keep upright. "You want it. I want it." She couldn't stop her fucking mouth. "Let's get together and feel alright."

"Fuck you."

The redhead cocked her arm back and Naomi suddenly found herself lying on her back on hard asphalt.

"Fucking tosser." Naomi heard the girl say, followed by the click and clack of heels walking swiftly away on the pavement.

_Fuck's sake. _Naomi rolled to her right and reached a hand up to cradle the now stinging left side of her face, just below her eye. _What are you doing? _The ground felt wet and smelled faintly of stale urine. It made her gag and her mouth water with warm saliva. She managed to pull herself to her feet and lean a hand on coarse brick wall before she became sick, her stomach expelling its bitter liquid and splattering it onto the ground.

Through the sounds of her retching, Naomi heard a faint clapping noise from the darkness. She wiped her mouth and quickly turned around, looking at the opposite side of the alley. She could barely make out the outline of another person in the shadows before a familiar figure appeared in front of her.

"Nice one, Blondie."

* * *

**A/N**: Hi again! Just wanted to kindly thank everyone who's been following this story so far! To all the anonymous reviewers, I'd thank you all personally but I have no way of writing to you individually, so I'd like to dedicate this space to you all! Thank you so much for your kind words!

I hope folks don't get too impatient with Naomi, who's being a bit of a doormat right now and walking on eggshells around Emily - which, to be fair, is kind of what she did post-ep2 so I figured I should work that in sooner and get it outta her system that much faster. It might be a bit of a slow burn, but a fire will be lit under her soon enough to win back her true love.

Last, but never least, I want to thank my good friend, **The Last Moccasin**, for her beta reading prowess. :)


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